Fearless Vulnerability in Songwriting
I release music under the artist name RLT Records. A friend recently asked me to share my thoughts on the songwriting process.
RLT Records on Spotify | RLT Records on Apple Music
When I write lyrics, I’m trying to find the universal without losing myself. In my better moments, I’m trying to find the universal while defining who I am as a person. The universal things are out there. I’m not trying to define those. I’m trying to discover them, to shine a light on them and ask the question, “do you see what I see?”
All it takes is one other person. Two people, together, can discover and share something universal.
In life, I think it’s important to understand how we relate to each other. In music, I write lyrics because I’m trying to find a way to connect with people around me. All of my songs were written with someone else in mind, or maybe a group of people.
“The universal” is too big and too abstract, so we have to bring a level of specificity to the conversation. It helps to imagine the conversation. I’m not talking about the particulars of the dialogue right now (those are the lyrics). I’m talking about the setting. But how do we think about that?
A dear, departed friend of mine, Emily Segal, had a great way of explaining how she relates to other people. She probably learned it form a psychiatrist, but she’s the one who taught me. It’s a basic framework. There are three ways to get to know someone:
Face to face - I tell you something about my inner self, you do the same
Shoulder to shoulder - We sit together, looking out into the world, and talk about things that exist outside of ourselves
Walking side by side - Now, we’re experiencing life together. We’re moving through time, existing together, collaborating, interacting, growing and evolving in tandem.
And then there’s the sticky issue of finding your voice. No one can tell you how to do that. The best I can do is share few thoughts on how I’ve found mine (with the caveat that this is a lifelong process and it never feels truly defined for me).
My advice on that goes something like this:
Don’t try to be original. That’s impossible. Don’t try to be unique, either. Simply be yourself. You are one of a kind. By definition, everything you say and and do is already unique… unless you’re trying to be like someone else.
We are never as alone as we might think we are. Speak for yourself, say what’s true for you, and there’s a very good chance that someone else will agree. Maybe they’re afraid to say it. Maybe they can’t find a way to articulate it. Maybe you’re the one who’s meant to say the thing that needs to be said.
PS - Inspiration comes in waves. If you’re inspired to create, create. Don’t overthink it. You’ll have plenty of time to look back and figure out what all of it means in hindsight.
Don’t waste time on the wave.